A Moral Code

What The Extreme Horror Community Can Learn From The BDSM Community

I have learned a lot being a part of the BDSM and Leather Community. If you're one of the two or three people who read my books but somehow didn't know what I was into, well now you do. I have learned about consent and negotiations, respecting differences and being accepting of things I'm not personally into (not yucking someone else's yum). I adopted the values of the Leather Community i.e. mutual respect, honor, loyalty, honesty, integrity, generosity, and service to the community and carried those into my vanilla life. Many of the friends, family, and acquaintances, authors, editors, and readers I have helped over the years, professionally, financially, and emotionally, who have benefitted from my kindness and/or generosity owe a lot of that support to those Leather values.

It may surprise vanilla folks to hear this, but the best, most morally and ethically upstanding people I know are not in churches, temples, or mosques, but dungeons. They are kinky folks. They aren't on their knees praying, they are swinging floggers and whips and tying each other up, but they are also raising money for sick folks in our community. They are also providing legal and mental health resources. They are marching for Equal Rights, Women's Rights, Gay Rights, and getting out the vote. They hold classes on negotiation, consent, managing relationships, and non-violent communication. When I joined the Leather Community, I had to step up my own game in terms of my own moral character. I had personal shit, emotional shit, and character flaws, I needed to work on that I hadn't been, and that shit just wasn't going to fly in the kink community. So, I did the work to better myself and confront my own demons. I am still doing the work.

In terms of kindness and generosity, I would have once put Horror authors, particularly Extreme Horror authors, a close second to the kink community. It had become common place to hear how surprised readers and fans were when they first met authors of Extreme Horror and discovered that most of us were pretty nice people, I dare say uncommonly nice. We weren't the kind of people you had to hide your wives, kids, and pets from. But something has changed. I don't know if I can say that anymore.

As in any community, the bigger it gets, the more difficult it becomes to maintain the original culture and that includes the common morality. Both the BDSM Community and the Extreme Horror Community have experienced massive growth in the last ten years, and they have both simultaneously benefitted from and suffered for that growth. We are increasingly becoming a microcosm of the larger society with all that implies. This has occurred in the BDSM Community with the proliferation of predators, and it has also happened now in the Extreme Horror Community with the same. In the Leather Community, having that code of honor helps us hold ourselves and others accountable. Other kinky folks see someone dressed in leather from head to toe, or at least wearing a leather vest, and there is an expectation that comes with it that this person adheres to and embodies certain ethical values. Of course, that isn't always the case. There are assholes and predators amongst Leather folk too. But, it's at least a starting point. Any code of ethics can only hope to keep the good folks good by providing guidelines and framework for good behavior, defining exactly what we mean by kindness, generosity, honesty and respect. I would suggest that we need a code of ethics for Extreme Horror authors as well. In fact, I would suggest we adopt the same code as the Leather Community:

Consent

Negotiation

Mutual Respect

Honor

Loyalty

Honesty

Integrity

Generosity

and service to the community.

Perhaps we should begin teaching classes on consent and negotiation at horror events? I know some great folks at the Consent Academy https://www.consent.academy/ who would be happy to help. Perhaps we should teach classes on managing relationships with readers and fellow authors? Perhaps we should create a moral code for horror authors and promote it every chance we get and call out those who are out of integrity and not adhering to the code? Wouldn't it be great if a woman, gay or trans person, or a child was at a literary event, and they saw an author selling books with gorey cover art and a title like “Infant Cannibal Bukakke”, and knew that was a safe person? Someone who upheld and embodied certain values and wouldn't threaten them, sexually harass or assault them, or share nude pictures of them with their friends on the internet? Wouldn't that be nice?